Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest
The first time I heard about this contest was last year from my best friend, Stevie. She had been following it and was totally bummed to learn that the time had elapsed for submitting opening sentences. I spent quite a bit of time hunting on the site and it is hilarious. Are you sure, after reading the bon mots of other submitters, that you don't have something just godawful enough spinning around that would warrant submission?
http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/
The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest
I got an email from Stevie telling me this:
Message
http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/
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"It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents--except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness." --Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, Paul Clifford (1830) |
I got an email from Stevie telling me this:
The Bulwer-Lytton
Fiction Contest (there is a lot about it online) has been around for quite a
while. It awards prizes on the worst possible opening sentence for all kinds of
fiction genres.
November 20th, the
winner of the Romance novel sentence, is set to speak at Stevie's library
association function. In honor of that they are having a contest to see who can
write the worst opening sentence for a Detective novel. Stevie asked me to write something for consideration and possibly the grand prize!
So I did. And here it is in all of its glory!
Kenny Detect, (yes he can!) is my name; sneaking and peeking is my game, and God is on my side, and only on my side witnessed by Him having bestowed on me an enormous, mottled, glow-in-the-dark honker that sniffs out the devil’s work and finds you salvation from your tormentors through miracles rather than through the plodding of my latte-sipping-Prius-driving godless competition
I'll let you know on November 20th, whether I am the gold medal winner. LOL
So I did. And here it is in all of its glory!
Kenny Detect, (yes he can!) is my name; sneaking and peeking is my game, and God is on my side, and only on my side witnessed by Him having bestowed on me an enormous, mottled, glow-in-the-dark honker that sniffs out the devil’s work and finds you salvation from your tormentors through miracles rather than through the plodding of my latte-sipping-Prius-driving godless competition
I'll let you know on November 20th, whether I am the gold medal winner. LOL
It scares me to realize that I understand what you are saying... LOL LOL
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